I'm not saying he didn't care about Vulcans destruction. It's the only time he loses control is when Kirk's involved, first when Kirk staged his mutiny by illegally boarding the ship with Scotty and the second time when he "died". It's as if the only person that can get a rise out of Spock is Kirk.
And, if Spock was co compromised by the destruction of Vulcan and the death of his family, why is he even on active duty? He tried to kill Kirk after all. Did nobody mention this to someone at headquarters? Great way to show your loyalty to your friend and comrade, let him work in a high pressure job while he's got serious mental health issues that basically lead him to find a logical way to commit suicide. But at least his friends didn't rat him out to Starfleet Medical.
It just didn't work for me. Your mileage may vary.