Thanks for the win, Leadhead
: Captain's Log: Once again, after the Federation film crew has left, our lives have become suddenly boring. I am beginning to think that they are deliberately setting up situations that will make for good television. I am increasingly disillusioned with just how fake "reality" televids have become.
: The Federation has been free of an economic system that requires money in exchange for goods and services for almost 100 years now and the Captain still thinks it's funny to walk into Ten-Forward and yell, "Hey everybody, drinks are on me!"
: You're just jealous you didn't think of it first.
: What's wrong with it?!
: I've lost the bleeps, I lost the sweeps, and I lost the creeps.
: The what?
: The what?
: And the what?
: You know, the bleeps... [Makes beeping noise]
... the sweeps... [Makes vibrating noise]
and the creeps. [Makes squeaking noise]
: [Quietly, to Riker]
That's not all she's lost.
: Sir! The sensors, sir! It appears to be... [Raspberry jam starts flowing through the console]
: Jammed... [Examines the jam and tastes it]
Raspberry. There's only one man... [Riker gets out of the way of the approaching camera]
...who would dare give me the raspberry! Q!
: I cannot believe he gave all three of us detention! It was the android who made the joke!
: Observing that the glare from the Captain's head was blocking my view of the console was not intended as a joke.
: In anticipation of our date, I have purchased you a traditional human gift. It's a merkin, I am lead to believe that human females often wear these...
: Worf, I know you were raised on Earth by human parents. Stop using the fact that you are a Klingon as an excuse to ask for kinky stuff and try to cover it up with the whole, "But, I'm an alien, I didn't know," excuse.
: Besides, I'm into way more kinky stuff than this...