Next semester, I'm sitting in Creative Writing class on the first day, and she walks in. I know what the more rational among you are thinking: This is obviously a sign from the All-Father. Odin granted me another chance to get to know her with the caveat that I not be such a pussy this time. Creative writing is generally filled with more outgoing people than psychology classes and more opportunities to interact with other students, and provided a better atmosphere for getting to know her. The mysterious anxiety thing was a complication, but I managed to talk to her while being somewhat charming and witty. Although, at this point, she had a boyfriend and, as most people are monogamous, I thought it best that I not make any overt advances.
The semester ended, and I've kept contact with her on Facebook. A few weeks ago, I was scrolling through my feed and I passed something she posted. I noticed her profile picture was just her, and not her looking all happy with her boyfriend, and this caught my attention. So, I pull up her page and noticed all the happy relationship pictures were gone and her relationship status changed to "single." At this point Odin appeared in my bedroom and said in his booming voice: "You know what you have to do. Don't be a pussy!" and I said "Wow, Odin! This is an honor. Although, I expected you to look more like Anthony Hopkins." And then Odin said "Hey, fuck you!" and then left after helping himself to a bottle of mead from my refrigerator. It would have been nice if he'd asked, but whatever, he's Odin. So, anyway, I decided Odin was right and that it was time for an overt advance. So I decided to leave a comment on a picture she posted.
Then that anxiety thing kicked in and I didn't like anything I wrote. So, I killed the anxiety with a bottle of mead and then wrote the best Facebook comment in the history of forever. She was all like "omgwtfbbq best thing ever that was awesome you're awesome." I impressed her mom too. So, since then I've been leaving flirty comments an her stuff and her mom has been encouraging be because she's an awesome wingman apparently. I haven't asked her out yet. She works a lot, she just got out of a short but apparently intense relationship, and on top of that, her dad died recently. She's got enough on her mind without worrying about dating me. Sticking with the flirting for now feels right. No need to rush things. That, and I'm a huge chicken shit pussy of a coward.
So, everything is awesome. Didn't the title say something about angst-ridden ranting? Which, I did that, but why would I bother if everything is awesome?
This weekend, she had a thing for a friend's birthday at some bar. She posted a bunch of pictures of her and some other women doing the things women do when they go out to the bar. Then, her ex-boyfriend posted two pictures from the night on her wall. Selfies he took. One with his arm around her, and one of them kissing.
That's not what I'm angry about. She's an adult. If she wants to kiss her ex-boyfriend I couldn't give less of a shit. I'm angry because as far as I can tell, he crashed the party and made a lame-ass attempt to get back with her. She looked like she was tolerating it rather than enjoying it. Essentially, she put up with it because she was too nice to tell him to fuck off.
I'd like to castrate him with my Swiss Army Knife and no anesthetic for forcing himself on her like that, but really, it's her problem, not mine. The real problem is that I've been through this kind of bullshit enough times to know that he posted those pictures for me. He's saying: "Back off, she is mine and I'm an insecure douchenozzle."