I thought some people might have some insightful things to say, and some people did. I acknowledged it whet it happened. What, asking other people for opinions means I have to give up free will and my sense of judgement? That doesn't make any fucking sense whatsoever.
No, it means that if you have a problem in your life, and in this case a problem that you FREELY ADMIT keeps coming up, to the point that you air our your thoughts repeatedly and solicit advice....that maybe, just maybe, you need to get over yourself. I've never seen any of your posts before this thread but it's now clear to me that you are an ego-driven, antagonistic person that projects on other people in order to make yourself feel better about your own issues. You want to tell everyone that you're so self-aware that you've already come to every conclusion they offer, but you don't want to go the extra step and try to CHANGE things so you can change your situation. And you do it by antagonizing people and being overly defensive. So, really, how self aware is that?
Everyone has issues in college. Yours aren't uncommon. Neither is your background, which you've elaborated on. But NOTHING will change unless you get the hell over yourself. Because this side of you WILL sabotage your relationships going forward and eat you alive from the inside. But yeah....what do I know? I guess you should ruminate on it forever before making a decision on what to do. And while you're doing that, these same issues with dating and your social life will come up again and again.
And as for the criticisms of your wardrobe...okay, maybe that's shallow of people. But let me just say that, just by the way you REACT to such criticism, it doesn't matter what you wear. Even if someone really doesn't care about your style choices and wants to get to know you as a person, and makes an innocuous joke about your fedora or something, your bitter, vitriolic personality that comes out when you perceive that you're under attack is enough to make them think twice about your character. So what's worse...someone being shallow or someone whose skin is so thin that they lash out at everything, real and imagined, just so they can keep wallowing in their own quagmire of issues?
Look, you've demonstrated in this thread that you're smart. You have what you need to change. All you need is to be smart enough to realize it and stop lashing out. Otherwise, this shit is just going to come up again and again.