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Old November 7 2013, 08:03 PM   #41
Location: Detroit
Re: Angst-Ridden Dating Rant #17

Deckerd wrote: View Post
Kommander have you lost a lot of weight? If so, well done that man.
Since I joined here, my weight has fluctuated by about 30lbs. I don't really intentionally gain or lose weight, but my lifestyle fluctuates. When I am active I tend to eat less and lose weight. When I'm not-so-active I eat more and gain weight. That picture was taken at the lower end of my weight fluctuations. Currently I'm about 15-20lbs heavier, and am currently in an active, eating less, losing weight cycle.

Melakon wrote: View Post
No, I wouldn't have made such a sweeping statement. But if you want to congratulate yourself for your perceptiveness, that's fine. Usually though, once a person recognizes a problem within themselves, they do what they can to change that problem, instead of finding reasons why they can't change.
There's a difference between finding reasons that I can't change and finding reasons why I can't change immediately. I can change, and I am, but it's a process.

Melakon wrote: View Post
Melakon wrote: View Post
: It sort of sounds like you intentionally seek out these emotionally messed up women (as you perceive them anyway) in order to make yourself feel superior to them.
It's more so there's less of a chance of them seeing me as inferior to them, but I see your point. I disagree with your point, but I see it. Thinking that I'm superior or inferior to anyone doesn't make any sense to me. Compared to any random person I'm likely better in some ways and worse in others. There's really no objective criteria with which to judge the absolute value of a person.

Mr Awe wrote: View Post
This is insightful and I applaud your self-honesty in this assessment. And, it really shows your way forward. The most important thing is to learn to be comfortable in your own skin and fix any flaws that are worthy of fixing. And, not all may not actualy be flaws. So, a bit of wisdom is required to determine which ones are flaws and then to address them.

If you can do that, I think the problem of being attracted to toxic relationships will go away. But, you need to address the underlying problems. I mean, avoiding toxic relationships is good but, without addressing the true problems rather than the symptoms, you'll continually be drawn to them.

And, congratulations on losing weight!

Mr Awe
To those bitching about my defensive replies, phrase your criticisms like this and I won't.

Scout101 wrote: View Post
That's what I'm getting. Compared to these trainwrecks, (perceived or otherwise), he comes off nicely. And gets to play the hero. Except he imagines a lot of these faults, and seems to be trying to barrel into situations that aren't as he perceives them.
Kind of like you're doing now?

Scout101 wrote: View Post
Plus, you know, trying to be possessive towards women he doesn't have any particular stake in. If you want to act like a jealous boyfriend, you at least have to go through the motions of asking the girl out first.
This makes the assumption that the boyfriend/girlfriend dynamic is the only human relationship that contains substance. My friend's ex-girlfriend didn't particularly like me when they were dating, and did her best to separate me from him. I told her to fuck off. Should I have just deferred to her wishes because they had been dating for a little less than a year and that's clearly a superior relationship to my decade-long friendship? Considering they broke up a month later, I think I was right to stand my ground. Dating someone does not give one the right to dictate how they interact with others. That needs to be agreed upon and consented to. Even if it's a girl I just met, if she wants to talk to me but her boyfriend doesn't want her talking to me, the boyfriend can go fuck himself.

Scout101 wrote: View Post
Gotta look through this thread, and the last few: Do you really see anyone agreeing with you? You get argumentative, violent, and arrogant very quickly, and just turn on the people you're sharing with. You're convicnced you're right, but looking around, not seeing anyone agreeing with you.
As I mentioned, I have a history of being a target of abuse. The first thing abusers typically do is try to convince the target that everyone is against them. Make of this observation what you will.

No one agreed with me, huh? I seem to recall Robert Maxwell agreeing with me on at least some points. That's some concrete evince that you are wrong.

Scout101 wrote: View Post
The Fedora is a nice example; you're NOT pulling it off. Especially in the photo you used as proof, where not only the hat doesn't really work, it's not working with the poorly fitting suit and odd facial hair. Maybe in a tiny geek subset that's a real thing (but so are capes and foam swords), but not if you're attempting more mainstream appeal. Like talking to women you don't know.
Subjective opinions with no basis for credibility. If Holdfast said these things I'd take them into consideration. He knows how to dress the fuck out of himself and I'm aware of it. I have no idea how you or others that have commented dress, therefore your opinions have no credibility at this point. Post some pictures of yourself dressed in clothing so I can get a perception of your tastes and I may reconsider.

Also, where did you get the idea I was going for mainstream appeal? I'm a musician, and my appearance is designed to attract attention. It works. I get plenty of compliments on my sense of style. As for my facial hair, if by "tiny geek subset" you mean half the musicians I know, then you are absolutely correct. I notice you didn't say anything about the eyeliner. Maybe you didn't notice it. Now that I pointed it out are you going to criticize me for being genderqueer too? I fucking dare you.

Scout101 wrote: View Post
Sure I'm up next to be ripped by you,
You choose hostility over diplomacy, knowing that it'll prompt me to respond defensively, and then preemptively mock me for it. If you had any intention of establishing credibility with me, being manipulative is probably the worst possible way to go about it.

Scout101 wrote: View Post
but if you are half as insightful as you continually claim, you'll see the pattern here, and realize that maybe since everyone is saying the same thing roughly, that you've misread things...
And back to the appeal to popularity.
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