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Old November 5 2013, 03:44 AM   #218
Cookies and Cake
Admiral
 
Location: North America
Re: Was Roddenberry a Terrible Writer?

Also 20/20 hindsight, this line from TMP:

TMP wrote:
KIRK: Mister Scott, there's an alien object with unbelievable destructive power less than three days away from this planet. ...The only starship in interception range is the Enterprise. Ready, or not, she launches in twelve hours.
could have been rewritten as:

CC's version wrote:
KIRK: Mister Scott, there's an alien object with unbelievable destructive power less than three days away from this planet. ...None of our ships can match it. Our only chance is the Enterprise. Ready, or not, she launches in twelve hours.
Related, but on a side note, I've never been happy with the Enterprise surviving the first digitizing torpedo fired against it, anyway. The original version at that point had Sulu say:
TMP (original theatrical version) wrote:
SULU: "The new screens held."
Removing that line actually makes things worse. The problem of even the new screens being implausibly strong against something like V'Ger should have been fixed "on the page", by structuring the scene so that Spock discovers V'Ger's attempts at communication and sends the response before the first torpedo hit. We'd already seen V'Ger attack the Klingons and Epsilon IX, and so had the crew. The danger was perfectly clear at that point.
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