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Old November 1 2013, 12:40 AM   #20
trekkist
Lieutenant
 
Re: Star Trek Redux

Maurice, I want to thank you for hanging in on what may not be the most interesting exchange. I know I've been a bit testy, but that doesn't mean I don't value your feedback, which is exactly the sort I showed up looking for.

Production…boy. Everything needed, I lack…CGI skills for a start, an idea where to go to find free professional-grade actors, let alone the wherewithal and/or knowledge for set building or even green screen. I'll be going to the Farragut open house in December, but confess to considerable shyness at the prospect of saying "Hey! Can I rent your sets?" Thinking "practical," I scripted a teaser awhile back…of which I'll ask the same as of what I've posted already. If this existed (today, post-Phase II et al, as vs. when I wrote the damn thing), would it serve as an enticing sales pitch for talent?

David Winfrey

TRAILER

FADE IN:

A slowly drifting starfield.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
You think you've seen "Star Trek."

As the narrator speaks, each word appears one-by-one on
screen. HOLD a beat; then, all but the words "Star Trek"
vanish and we

CUT TO:

A machine-gun-rapid montage of shots, reeling back the years:
begin with scenes from "Star Trek: Nemesis" (or whatever film
is in latest release), proceeding backwards through
"Enterprise," "Voyager," "Deep Space Nine" and "Star Trek:
The Next Generation" and the latter series' films, continuing
then through the original series spinoff films, (NOT
including the direct-to-DVD/video "Special Edition" of "Star
Trek: The Motion Picture"), and into scenes from the original
series itself, concluding with a shot of Captain Pike and Mr.
Spock on the bridge (from the original pilot episode "The
Cage"). HOLD on this final (i.e., the very first) image of
"Star Trek," then

CUT TO:

A slowly drifting starfield.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
You think you've seen "Star Trek."
(a beat)
You haven't.

The U.S.S. Endeavour – an original series (Enterprise-type)
starship – explodes into frame and out (a reprise of the
original series title sequence to-and-from pass of
Enterprise).

The following shots appear in synchrony with the Narrator's
words.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
"Star Trek" as it would have been—

CUT TO:

SFX SPACE

Endeavour in low orbit of the Moon, a gorgeous "beauty shot"
of ship and world alike.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
"Star Trek" as it could have been—

CUT TO:

A fleet of Romulan "warbirds" (the flat-hulled, bird-painted
original series vessels) falling in close formation toward
the surface of a star.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
"Star Trek" as it should have been—

CUT TO:

INT. ENDEAVOUR HALLWAY

A striking redhead in a command-blue miniskirt stands in a
ladder alcove.

WOMAN
Ensign.

A hunky ensign steps into the nook—

WOMAN (CONT'D)
This is not an order.

ENSIGN
(stuttering)
Roger that.

—and is pulled into a passionate, full-body-contact kiss.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
"Star Trek" as it almost was—

CUT TO:

SFX SPACE

A fleet of Klingon D-7s (original series starships) at high
warp, some of the vessels exploding (and otherwise suffering
debilitating damage) mid-flight.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
"Star Trek" as it never was—

INT. HANGAR DECK

A woman in a Starfleet minidress leaps out of a diminutive
version of an old-style shuttlecraft and begins to run flat
out for the hangar bay's airlock. The shuttle is still moving
from a position just inside the closed hangar bay doors;
the sound of rushing air fills the soundtrack. ZOOM on the
woman as she runs to reveal her eyes are tightly shut.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
"Star Trek" as it always was—

CUT TO:

INT. BRIDGE

Original series vintage, with a high back on the captain's
chair. In the hot seat is COMMODORE WESLEY (Barry Russo), as
established in original series episode "The Ultimate
Computer."

COMMODORE WESLEY
All phasers to overload power.
Burst the emitters. One salvoed
shot.
(a beat)
Fi—

NARRATOR (V.O.)
—again.

CUT TO:

SFX SPACE

Endeavour hurtling toward the galactic barrier.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
"Star Trek" as you knew it—

CUT TO:

INT. ENGINEERING

An attractive brunette in an Engineering-red minidress sits
at the main console, eyes going to the ceiling as the engines
howl on the ragged edge of detonation.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
"Star Trek" as you loved it—

CUT TO:

INT. BRIDGE

On the main viewscreen, a crystal-eyed, reptilian Gorn.

GORN
(screaming in Gorn-ish)
RUU-HAY!

NARRATOR
"Star Trek" as you made it—

CUT TO:

SFX SPACE

Three tri-nacelled Starfleet Dreadnaughts maneuvering in
close formation, like jet fighters. PULL BACK as the nearer
and farther of the two perform a primary/secondary hull
separation, their saucers banking into and out of frame,
barely missing the single-engined Starfleet destroyers riding
flank.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
Again.

CUT TO:

SFX SPACE

Endeavour as she lets go with everything she's got: twinned
phaser beams pulsing from the saucer's underside, photon
torpedo shots between; single phasers lancing unbrokenly from
just in front, and to the left and right of the bridge.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
"Star Trek—"

INT. KLINGON BRIDGE

An old Klingon (original series vintage – no bumpy forehead),
his face and body covered with scars, turns suddenly to face
the (unseen) viewscreen, a look of horror on his face.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
—again.

CUT TO:

SFX SPACE

A haggard-looking fleet of Klingon starships – of various
configurations – is set upon from behind by a somewhat-faster
trio of Romulan "warbirds," the lot exchanging fire.

CUT TO:

A slowly drifting starfield.

IMPOSE TITLE:

STAR TREK

The two words – their font contemporary "Trek" standard –
morph transporter-style into the original series font, and in
time with the narrator's reading of them, become

STAR TREK REDUX

NARRATOR (V.O.)
"Star Trek" Redux—

CUT TO:

A gunfire-rapid series of (hitherto-unseen) "teaser" shots.

CUT TO:

A slowly drifting starfield, which with the last word—

NARRATOR (V.O.)
Again.

—explodes toward us as we go to warp speed.

FADE OUT.

THE END
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