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Old October 4 2013, 05:21 PM   #290
Jack Frost
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Re: Do fans want the prime timeline back? Part 2: Poll edition.

JarodRussell wrote: View Post
Nothing against the shot, but there was no valid reason, and that makes it bad writing.

Even if you only connect cool images with a script, you can give every cool shot a valid reason.

Put the shot in the last act, for example. The Enterprise is chased by the Vengeance, and there seems to be no escape. So Kirk, being the unconventionally out of the box bad ass he is, comes up with the idea of hiding the ship for repairs where Marcus/Khan will never think about looking for them: on a planet, under water.

When the repairs are done, and Vengeance is in range, rise out of the waters for a surprise attack.

Not only is there a reason now, it also makes the scene important.


That works at least for me because the whole subplot in the first act was pointless imo. Kirk breaks the Prime Directive, gets demoted and five minutes of screentime later gets promoted again. You can cut the whole sequence out without changing a thing about the story.


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BigJake wrote: View Post
Also: IMO, @JarodRussell has it exactly right.
Nope, and nope. While I appreciate that it "works for you" JarodRussell, it opens a different can of worms which require other script revisions and/or contrivance additions.

Remember the Vengeance can easily outrun the Enterprise, so how would you suggest She gets out of the cross-hairs long enough to get into the ocean? (without requiring changes to other areas of the script, pre-title card sequence excepted, of course)
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