For me 'real' Star Trek:
1. Must adhere to Roddenberry-esque principles. Each episode should have a 'moral' [however light/heavy], the show should be a vessel for a look at the Human Condition & ponderings on ethics, morality and general philosophy. Generally, the show should encourage us to be as good as we can be while growing and learning.
Isn't that what Into Darkness was? Kirk's decision not to execute Khan from afar (also a statement about the US' current warfare tactics) qualifies. His speech at the end spells it out:
There will always be those who mean to do us harm. To stop them, we risk awakening the same evil within ourselves. Our first instinct is to seek revenge when those we love are taken from us, but that's not who we are.
2. It must NOT be simply about action. Violence is the last resort, least preferred method. It must not be overtly sexual or gratuitous.
-Extended torture scenes in "The Empath"
-Torture in "Patterns of Force"
-Wrath of Khan, the Ceti Eel torture sequence
-Picard's degridation and torture in "Chains of Command"
-Close-up detail shots of crew mutilations by the Borg in First Contact.
-Archer's airlock torture of a pirate, and later his pirate attack on a defenceless vessel during Enterprise's third season.
-Conspiracy, Remmick's entirely unnecessary exploding head. Note that in comparison, Into Darkness never actually showed Admiral Marcus' head beind destroyed by Khan, nor any detail on Carol's broken leg.
-Beverly writhing in pleasure in "Sub Rosa"
-DS9's mirror universe, which turned almost every female into lipstick lesbian or (in Kira's case) a permanently horny bisexual.
-Voyager, with Seven of Nine's unnecessary catsuit.
-Enterprise, with it's infamous decon chamber scenes, T'Pol's Pon Farr, T'Pol and Trip's massage sequences, T'Pol's bare ass, T'Pol and Hoshi being seduced by a Xindi agent, which featured much unnecessary groping.
So, for my rules....
TOS, TNG, DS9, VOY & ENT and movies I-X are 'real Star Trek'.
JJ is producing a shallow, soulless version of Trek necromancy in my opinion.
By your own rules, how is that so? Do you ignore the things I have cited above?