For me 'real' Star Trek:
1. Must adhere to Roddenberry-esque principles. Each episode should have a 'moral' [however light/heavy], the show should be a vessel for a look at the Human Condition & ponderings on ethics, morality and general philosophy. Generally, the show should encourage us to be as good as we can be while growing and learning.
2. It must NOT be simply about action. Violence is the last resort, least preferred method. It must not be overtly sexual or gratuitous.
So, for my rules....
TOS, TNG, DS9, VOY & ENT and movies I-X are 'real Star Trek'.
JJ is producing a shallow, soulless version of Trek necromancy in my opinion.