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Old September 13 2013, 04:21 AM   #13
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Re: DS9 Caption Contest 81: Douchey Moves

Quark: What's he doing?

Dax: If I didn't know better, I'd swear...oh no, he's doing it. He's launching into a monologue.

Quark: I never thought I'd say this, but I wish he'd just kill me now and spare me the agony.

Dax: You and me both, Quark. You and me both.

Sisko: Just five more minutes! I was having the best dream about Jennifer. There we were, covered in honey, licking each other...

Jake: Dad, stop! I don't need to know about your sexcapades with mom!

Kassidy: Seriously, Ben, I've got to compete with a dead woman.

Joseph: Both of you, shut up! This is the first story he's told that might not put me to sleep!

Weyoun: I must admit, you are a worthy opponent, Major, but face facts, the Founders in their infinite wisdom made the Vorta with the ability to go days without blinking. It's only a matter of time before I win this staring contest.

Dax: So, what do you say? You, me, Quark's, just like we used to do.

Kira: I don't know, I've got an early shift tomorrow and I was hoping to spend time with Odo. Why don't you go with Worf?

Dax: Because the last time I did, the only thing we drank was prune juice.

Kira: Well, that explains why you spent half your shift in the head last week!

Quark: You know, Commander, I could sue the entire Federation for racial profiling and denying me my freedom of religion.

Odo: Harumph. Racial profiling!

Quark: It's true, every time there's a crime, Odo always comes to accuse me first.

Odo: Because it's always you committing the crimes.

Quark: And, another thing, to me, money is my religion. Denying me the opportunity to earn money and therefore follow the tenants of my religion is religious discrimination!

Odo: You have got to be kidding me!

Sisko: Sadly, Constable, he's got a strong argument against us keeping him locked up in that cell.

Odo: At least let me keep him detained until his hearing!

Quark: Was that a knock against my ears! Commander, I demand to add a charge of racism to my previous complaints.

Sisko: Sorry constable, I'm going to have to ask you to release Quark and refrain from comments that reference his ears.

Quark: Damn, this is too easy, I should have thought of this years ago!
"When I reach for the edge of the universe, I do it knowing that along some paths of cosmic discovery, there are times when, at least for now, one must be content to love the questions themselves." --Neil deGrasse Tyson
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