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Old August 30 2013, 04:17 AM   #325
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Re: Kate Mulgrew - Orange is the New black

CAN'T FIX CRAZY... continued


"Sometimes that shit comes back around" by Nicky Nicholls

The girls are putting the finishing touches on the crèche for the Christmas pageant. For reasons I can't fathom, 5'10" Alex is standing by HOLDING the Christmas lights as she feeds them to 5'3.5" Nicky who is STRETCHING UP to thread the lights over the support beams holding up the straw roof.

While this is going on, Alex is trying to goad Morello into revealing who she picked for Secret Santa. "Something", for those of you who've never played S Santa... just isn't done. Morello has obviously played before...

Morello: No.. It's a secret!

Big Boo has played before but knows its more fun to bust Morello's chops than to "be surprised" on Christmas.

Boo: Hah, some secret, you've just finished asking me what my favorite color is and IF my feet get cold.

Morello takes offense and jumps up to yell before stalking away...

Morello: If I was making you slippers, which I am not, I wouldn't be anymore! So you just get used to cold feet that ain't magenta!

Boo utters my favorite line to Nicky, after the Brooklyn-Bostonian stamps away.

Boo: Wow. PLEASE start fucking her again.
Nicky: Yeah, you only get one chance to break MY heart... (then she looks up to Alex as Boo walks away) Hey, remember that Vause.
Alex: Such self restraint, impressive for a junkie.

Nicky reminds the tall one of her loveless/motherless upbringing and her early need to shut people off so she couldn't be hurt anymore.

Alex: Yeah, maybe I should go into training with you.

The lonely hearts club continue to bond in the chapel as we switch gears to another broken heart sitting a few rows away who has just passed a Christmas card to the Nun sitting next to her.

Sophie's son has sent her the card. He didn't write anything in it BUT it was the first time in 3 years "Mom" didn't have to "fake sign" for him.

Sophie: I just wish he'd talk to me.
Sister Ingalls: (Reassures as she hands the card back) He's starting to.

Not so reassuring is the sudden appearance of Suzanne with the call sheet in her hand.

Suzanne: Sisters! You all sure about this part for me?
Sr. Ingalls: Have faith, dear, your voice... resonates.
Suzanne (Beams) Yeah... you right! I should just put the past behind me. NO WAY that could happen again!

(The LOOK on Sophia and Sr. Ingalls face as Suzanne said that and ran away is PRICELESS!)

So, we go from Alex and Nicky stringing up Christmas lights and praying Piper "Gets fat and stops shaving her legs"... to the beginning of the end.

Alex obviously got Larry's letter and just as obviously put him on her visitation list because there he is, sitting in the middle of the room barely keeping himself from jumping up and down to expel all the nervous energy.

Remember... he's never seen her before, but she HAS seen him. He was hugging Piper goodbye months ago while she was doing the same to a short redhead AND winking at Piper over Larry's shoulder.

I may be weird, but I loved that "wink". So ballsy!

As we watch Alex saunter into the room, you have to wonder WHY was she there? Did she just want to meet the man who could take Piper away from her? For THIS she would have to endure a strip search after the visit????

Did she want to tell him off? Threaten him if he didn't "take care" of Piper? Or was it for some other nefarious reason???

As he waits at the table... we hear the usual announcements, "You are allowed 2 hugs. One on arrival and one on departure". As Alex nears the table Larry realizes "its her" and stands to greet her.

Thankfully, he doesn't try to hug her.

Larry: Alex.
Alex: Yeah.
Larry: (small talk? really?) You're uh, tall.
Alex: (Smirks as she sits) So I've been told.

Larry tries to settle himself down to "say his piece"... but he can't settle.

Larry: ... just picturing you... (picturing her what? In person? As a major player in an international drug cartel, as your fiancée's past and VERY RECENT lover? Alex has no trouble "filing in the blanks")
Alex: (Teases) Got you all flustered?

Okay, THAT pissed him off, and off he went, telling this RIVAL to stop fucking up Piper's life and stay away from her.

Alex: Not a problem. She's all yours, champ. We done here? (She starts to leave)

See... For THIS she endure a strip search... I don't think so.

Larry can't believe it was that easy either and he stops her.

Larry: Suddenly she's all mine? When you have been working her over ever since she got here?

Okay, THAT pissed HER off, and off she went telling Larry what 2 lesbians do when they are alone in the chapel after Thanksgiving.

Alex: Working her over? Are you fucking KIDDING me? She came to ME. Dragged ME in that chapel and fucked ME.

Larry is speechless.

Alex: Surprised me too. (Voice takes on a wonder) She never used to be the aggressor. (shakes her head) I guess it was a new color she was trying on.

(And now the vindictive hard hearted drug smuggler personality finally comes out to play... to torture her rival and by extension her former lover)

Alex: Or maybe she was bored. Uhh, who knows.

Like John Bennet and Daya, Larry can't get beyond the idea of his beloved making love with another.

Larry: You fucked in a chapel?
Alex: (She smiles, like a fisherman who's just set the hook... or the spider who feels the fly struggle in her trap.) It's prison, there aren't a whole lot of options. But I'm done. Can't survive another spin on her merry go round, and clearly you're still into it... so (scoffs) enjoy the ride.

Larry is insulted... his relationship with Piper is superior to Alex's... THEY after all, are getting "married".

Alex: Great. So why are you here?

(Good question, Larry... and right back at YOU, Alex.)

Larry: I wanted to meet you...

(he can't finish and she leans in to confide quietly)

Alex: Larry, my heart is with you...


Alex: She's Hot!.. She's read everything.

(OH, What a tangled...)

Alex: (SIGHS) We BOTH know what she's like in bed.
(...web we weave...)

Alex: But she is fucked up!

(...when first we practice...)

Alex: I know it, and you do too.

( deceive )

Alex: Or else you wouldn't be here "warning me" to stay away... I'm not your problem.

And with that, the spider stands up and walks away from the helpless fly caught in her web.

She'll finish him off later, if she needs a laugh.

Oh, Piper... karma is a bitch... but more importantly, for the woman who's read everything but comprehended nothing... here's a suggestion.

You better go back to William Congreve's "The Mourning Bride" because you've obviously forgotten a very important point.

"Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, Nor hell a fury like a woman scorned,"

Oh Alex.

Do you truly KNOW what you have done?

"But life is a battle: may we all be enabled to fight it well!" Charlotte Bronte
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