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Old August 26 2013, 12:09 AM   #78
Warped9
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Location: Brockville, Ontario, Canada
Re: Revisiting TAS...

I've started reading the ADF adaptation. Presently I've reached the point where the episode starts off: the shuttlecraft is enroute and Uhura notices the stasis box is glowing---but there is a lot of padding to get to that point.

"Slaver Weapon" is one of the stories ADF expanded to fill one modest sized book. He starts it off with a flashback to Uhura's youth where she undergoes a maturity ritual in Africa. Here at the age of sixteen she's required to kill a lion armed with only a spear. The concession, of course, is that it isn't a real lion but a mechanical replica that acts like a real lion attacking...but stops short of actually killing you and ripping you to shreds if you fail to "kill" it first.

The story next jumps to setting up why the stasis box is being transported by shuttlecraft rather than by the Enterprise. Essentially the Enterprise is faced with two vitally important tasks and can't be in both places at the same time so hence the shuttlecraft. I understand why ADF expanded the beginning of the story this way, but (to me) it really feels padded where nothing of real interest happens and the gist of it could have been conveyed in a paragraph before launching into the meat of the real story.

One small thing I really notice here. Previously I've mentioned that ADF sometimes added extra dialog to flesh out scenes. This is an admirable practice, but often enough the dialogue he adds really doesn't sound like the characters we're familiar with. This is particularly true of his dialogue for Spock. Sometimes the speech is too formal and other times it's too informal or too colloquial. Too often he doesn't write Spock the way he would actually speak. Of course we can attribute that partly to ADF not having his work proofread by D.C. Fontana or any of the other TOS writers.
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Last edited by Warped9; August 26 2013 at 04:12 PM.
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