The only odd thing about Eccleston's 'attitude' would be if thought that Doctor Who will go away if he ignored it: he must know that if he goes out for a drink when he's 80-something, a 50-year-old will ask him for his autograph, saying "I was eight when you were the Doctor, and I'd never seen it before, and I've loved it ever since, but you're still my favourite Doctor!"
But there's no evidence that he does think that: he probably knows that it'll always be the second thing he's asked about, and throws out a comment to deal with that. And by all accounts he is massively pleasant to children who think he's the Doctor, and even teenagers who were children back in 2005.
So what harm would doing the anniversary show do? Well, he might think that it'll feed the beast. But as he did have a meeting, we can only guess that the role his Doctor would have had in the special was something that didn't interest him. So he said no. His call. If he was raking it in by attending conventions and had then refused to come back, then we could accuse him of not respecting his fans. But he doesn't: he just acts, does PR for his current project, and gets on with his private life.