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Old August 25 2013, 02:59 PM   #303
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Re: Kate Mulgrew - Orange is the New black

CAN'T FIX CRAZY... (AKA "What Goes Around, Comes Around") continued

I have to admit... although I love Sister Ingalls, it was this exchange that made me "guffaw" in the auditions.

Chaplin: I assume from your choice of material, you're interested in a part of an Angel?
Doggett: Yes Ma'am...That's correct... because last year I was up on this stage as the ox, and the year before that I was the ass, And so, I dunno about y'all, but I'm really starting to feel like you're trying to assassinate my character!

If this "episode" had played 1 week AFTER "Fool me Once" instead of "15 seconds later"... it undoubtedly would have begun with that age old TV trick...

"Previously on Orange is the New Black, Piper was dumped by Larry by phone, was called on it by Alex as they fought in the kitchen before they made up in the barracks and decided to run off to Cambodia together. But before Piper could do that, Larry finally showed up at the prison with an ultimatum... we break up now OR we marry each other, NOW. What's a girl to do?"

After the auditions, we find out what she's going to do as Chapman chases her "counselor" down to ask for something.

Healy has been waiting for this moment for nearly a month.

Ever since she screamed at him through the glass window in the SHU to go fuck himself, he KNEW it was just a matter of time before she would need something from him.

And now she does. A marriage request form. Of course, as he happily points out, its not just a form that she needs, but HIS approval... and that he's not handing out today.

The man who had to order a bride from Russia has a lot of things to say to her, starting with "Marriage is a privilege" and ending with "Go fuck yourself."

Piper, will you EVER learn to keep your mouth SHUT?

Speaking of "will you ever learn"... Larry is visiting his folks today.

Its been weeks since the radio program and Mom wants to know what PIPER thought of it.

Larry: She had some... issues with it. But, uh, we talked them through...

(EXCUSE me! Did I miss a scene somewhere? When did they EVER talk about her "issues" with the radio program, or the way he froze her out BEFORE the radio program, or WHY she was unable to be faithful to him in prison MUCH LESS why she STILL LOVED ALEX????)

Larry: ...and then we kept talking, and at the end of our talk, we decided we're gonna get married right away. While she's still in there. As soon as possible. So... That's really the full report (HAH!), since you asked.

Larry's stunned parents just look at him.

Larry: I think this is the longest you two have ever been silent.

Well, Mom and Dad... desperate people will do desperate things, right?

Yeah... EXCEPT make them talk honestly with one another about their needs, their wants, their dreams.

Daddy even asks Larry about those, in an attempt to wake his son up!

Father Bloom: The point is that Piper is spending a year in an institution, you can't tell what she'll be like when she gets out.

and a short time later...

Father Bloom: She's exciting (says the man who looks like he's never been excited in his entire life) but does she share your values? Will she be a good mother? Does she make you fell good about yourself?
Larry: I think so.
Mother Bloom: What, you can't remember?

I think I'm starting to love his crazy mother almost as much as I love his droll father.

Mother Bloom: Larry, why are you in such a hurry?
Father Bloom: Its not like she's going anywhere.
Mother Bloom: What, are you afraid she's going to meet someone else?

Mother B... that's EXACTLY what he's afraid of, and for some reason he thinks that piece of paper will somehow restrain Piper's roaming tendencies more than a mere "engagement" ever could.

And who knows, after the next scene in the prison library... maybe it will.
"But life is a battle: may we all be enabled to fight it well!" Charlotte Bronte
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