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Old August 24 2013, 03:32 AM   #296
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Re: Kate Mulgrew - Orange is the New black

FOOL ME ONCE.... continued

For some reason, Watson and Yoga Jones are back. The moment they shared over Yoga Jones' cathartic confession looks to have bonded them.

That's cool, I can accept that.

I just don't get what they were trying to do with the nail.

Did Yoga WANT to kill herself... or was she trying to recreate Kiefer Sutherland / Julia Roberts' 1990's movie, "Flat Liners".

I could maybe accept that she could no longer live with that boy's death on her conscience, but then why did Watson want to die?

I laughed when Watson was SHOCKED that Yoga Jones got knocked flat when she tried to electrocute herself.

WHAT did you expect????

I laughed again when Yoga Jones felt BETTER after her experience. I guess home made shock therapy really does work!

Polly FINALLY sent Piper a baby picture. We don't get to see the letter that hopefully came with it, because Doggett has arrived to give her the keys to the kingdom.

Piper slips too quickly back into her uptight ice princess mode when she stares down at Tiffany (she HAS to look down, she's 7 inches taller!)

Piper: Oh god... the baptism thing... you were serious.
Tiffany: What about me makes you think I wouldn't be serious?
Piper: Good point.

Piper tries to excuse herself from the baptism with some lame excuse that the fiancÚ who broke up with her might visit today after weeks of absence.

We switch to a flashback where we discover the "Good Looking Stranger" isn't Tiffany's minister. He is her newly appointed lawyer from a "Christian" law firm that has been paid by people un-named to not only represent Past-Tiffany before the judge but provide a small monthly stipend for her parents.

Past-Tiffany is blown away by this offer, and asks what she has to do in return. The GLS smiles and says, all she needs to do is say she killed to protect the unborn.

Not sure why her track record of doing that herself wasn't an issue... but it wasn't for the GLS or for the CROWD of people standing in the court room waving signs supporting Past-Tiffany and her "cause".

As Past-Tiffany stood to face the judge, with her posse backing her up and the GLS at her side, she sports the biggest smile that has undoubtedly ever graced her face.

No problem, Present-Tiffany assures Piper, they'll be done in 10 minutes.

And that damned "Alcoholic Mother / Philandering Father / everyone knows but "we all pretend its not true for the good of the family" conditioning kicks in.

Tiffany is dragging Taylor down the hallway towards the rest of her flock.

Taylor should have stood her ground where Tiffany first stopped her.

She should have explained that despite the prayer, Piper was still a nonbeliever.

It would have been less of a blow to Doggett's pride to refuse her without the laundry room posse in attendance, but as always with Piper, her initial attempt to "get along," in the end just makes everything worse.

And what was it that finally made Piper put her foot down, with Tiffany Doggett?

That partially cleaned muck sink in the laundry room.

There was no way in heaven OR hell that Piper was going to let them "dunk her" in there!

That's when the Crazy Eyes version of Piper showed up once more, explaining why Piper wouldn't allow them to baptize her.

I laughed when she claimed she believed in evolution and science (as if that was mutually exclusive of being a "believer" of another kind) and instead believed in various men who were atheists of one kind or another.

I laughed because she was being so dogmatic, so ideological in her argument against the baptism... and WE all know that Piper only backed off because it was the laundry room MUCK sink that finally made her say "no".

Too bad she did it in front of Tiffany's flock.

Piper: Feelings aren't enough, I need it to be real. I gotta go.

And go she did... from the frying pan into the fire.

Look who actually showed up on visitation day.

Is this the first time he's seen her since before Thanksgiving???

Look at her.

Granted, in his world view she has a lot to feel guilty about... but LOOK at her!

Where is the woman who called Alex on the "dance" they had been doing for weeks.... years.

Too bad she didn't carry that new found fervor from the laundry room with Tiffany into the visitation room with Larry.

Too bad she didn't realize that Larry was just offering her another muck sink to dunk in.

Too bad she never realized that she SHOULDN'T have wasted time believing in Alex Vause, Larry Bloom, Nate Silver, Neil deGrasse Tyson or Christopher Hitchens.

Piper needed to believe IN Piper Chapman.

She should have been busy, all these months, doing what Suzanne told her to do days ago.

If Piper didn't start cleaning from the inside out... then she would just keep tracking dirt "onto the clean".

It sure would have helped her recognize all the logical flaws in Larry's argument that they needed to marry NOW, go through this prison thing as "husband and wife"... or break up.

Somehow, at that exact moment, Piper hearing Tiffany tell her posse that being disrespected by the ice princess meant she now had to die at the hand of Doggett... in a strange way THAT might have been comforting.

"But life is a battle: may we all be enabled to fight it well!" Charlotte Bronte
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