First of all, thank you for your comments. They're very helpful and very much appreciated.
I am aiming to become a professional writer someday so I really appreciate people who take the time to share what they're thinking of the story and/or my writing.
Just like you, I have a document on my computer with more details on the characters I use in the story. I have to admit though, some characters need some more work. I couldn't resist starting to write yet. The overall story of the season I already have and I'm still working on the episode planning. The questions you asked are very helpful, especially the one about the promotion system. I didn't think of that yet. The ships weapons are a good point too, I do know what the Falcon has for weaponry, but I didn't write it down yet. I guess I'll have enough to do tonight.
Ouch, the punctuation should really be in order. I'm one of those writers who thinks that not being a native speaker is no excuse to make grammar and or spelling errors in writing. Thank you for pointing it out, I'll reread my pieces more carefully. I think I know what goes wrong there though. I tend to write dialogue first, then add thought and after that actions. Sometimes I rewrite pieces of the dialogue later, but I get lazy and only erase half of the sentence. I'm trying to stop doing that, but old habits die hard.
The comment about starting a new paragraph with a new speaker was really helpful too. I sometimes feel like my story doesn't have enough body, that's why I usually don't go on to the next paragraph. I'll see if I can work on that.