FOOL ME ONCE... continued
Just in case you thought that working the night janitorial shift would give Piper a pass from her daytime electrical duties, think again.
Later that day in the kitchen (it must be between meals since no-one is around and the pantry is locked behind wire cage doors) Piper is taking a screw driver to a toaster. All I could think of was "Piper! Remember rule #1.
Did you unplug that sucker yet?"
Alex walks in carrying a load of towels, and sees opportunity in the empty kitchen.
Alex: (She sidles over to Piper)
Ya wanna fuck in the pantry?
: Heyyy, get out of here. You're gonna get us shot. (Shot=a written reprimand like after the dryer incident)
I'm serious. (Alex is snuggling up to Piper's back, kissing her neck)
I was so afraid about you finding out the truth, but now its out (that she gave Piper up to the Feds)
and its okay. (her hands are roaming more than a teenaged boy on a date at a drive-in movie)
Its kind of a rush. The cool thing about sex in an industrial kitchen (she's handling Piper the way Pornstache did when he frisked Piper in the electrical shop)
is there's a ton of margarine in here.
Piper: (Being ever so polite)
Stop it Alex.
But Alex doesn't
Watching Piper in the scene was quite telling. Initially when Alex walked in, it was their usual absent minded banter, nothing overtly titillating and Piper seemed fine. As Alex turned up the fondling and the verbal commentary, Piper's face went from fine to cool to distinctly uncomfortable, but she still didn't try to shut Alex down
until the drug dealer FINALLY went too far.
: We're NOT okay! (She finally breaks free from Alex' grasp and steps off 3 paces. Motioning back and forth between them she yells) This Is Not Fine!
we can talk.
Piper is pissed that this was a ruse to get her to talk and Alex further pushes her button by defining "what" they're going to talk about.
You find out that I personally
got you thrown in here at the exact moment
your manicured fingers were like closing on the yuppie brass ring... and somehow you DON'T have a problem with it? You are so
full of shit!
(And now comes one of the great P/A exchanges of the series, one celebrated in thousands, well, hundreds, well at LEAST four score and several more fan-made vids.)
Piper: (Punch blocks Alex in the chest throwing her back 2 feet) FUCK YOU!
(She punch blocks her back another 2 feet)
Piper: FUCK YOU ALEX!
(She's now backing Alex up until she traps her against the pantry's cage door)
Piper: (This is as mad as we've ever seen our dear WASP .... so far)
You want to see me angry? Well GUESS WHAT! I'm really FUCKING ANGRY
, because I love you
Alex. I love
you, and I Fucking HATE YOU!
I've been really trying to keep my shit together but if you really need to see me Hulk out
over this... (and she pushes Alex back one more time into the cage door before turning around to stalk away)
(Alex is smiling, because she knows she guessed right about Piper's motives during their early morning bathroom tete e tete.)
Larry left you, didn't he? (Piper stops and turns around)
And that's why you're... "fake fine" with me.
I love Alex's interpretation of Piper's motives, love them because this is yet another example of everything Alex is accusing Piper of doing/feeling could also be laid at Alex's own door step since Piper left 8 years ago.
Right now you're willing to overlook pretty much anything
because ultimately you are just terrified of being alone... (Now the formerly spurned lover gets a little righteous in her indignation) Is that all I am to you? (She marches up to get in Piper's face)
A fucking binky
to suck on, until you
Piper's not answering.
Piper's not even looking in her direction.
Look at me.
Piper slowly turns to face her nemesis. Gritting her teeth she asks the one question she's needed answered.
did you do it?
Remember that video where Alex denied ratting her out in episode 3? Well, replay it in your mind and substitute "yes" for all the no's.
Yes, Alex gave up Piper because the Feds were offering less time, "significantly" less. Alex figured she might as well rat out Piper before one of her associates did (they all traveled together). ANYWAY, Piper was no longer real to Alex since the two hadn't seen heard from each other in EIGHT years (Hey! Is that a continuity error or a hint. Piper told Alex in ep 3's yelling match that she hadn't seen Alex in FIVE years!!!) and truth be finally told, after 8 years the vindictive Alex was still upset over the way Piper walked out on their relationship, walked out when Alex the woman (not the drug dealer) needed her the most, at the time of her mother's death.
Piper might have bought Alex' act, and told her so... IF Alex hadn't lied, if Alex had simply delivered this speech months ago when Piper first arrived.
I wanted you to like me. I still do. (Why Alex? Is Piper YOUR binky?)
Maybe you should have thought that all the way through.
And Piper walks away.
Here's to hoping she didn't leave her screwdriver behind with the broken toaster.