Example: the ridiculous public displays of affection between Spock and Uhura. It may titillate the younger fans who don't remember or never saw how real Spock and real Uhura related to each other in TOS, but it's not how the characters were established or developed. Their relationship was always based on mutual respect, and never went beyond the mild flirtation in one or two early episodes.
That's absolutely true--as far as the original series is concerned. But you seem to be missing the point that the new versions of the characters are not supposed to be identical to the previous versions.
New timeline, new universe, new twists and character dynamics. That's kinda the idea.
I find it telling that you refers to the original versions as "real Spock" and "real Uhura"--as opposed to, say, the previous versions of Spock and Uhura, which is a less judgmental or dogmatic way to phrase it. If you keep expecting NuTrek to be completely faithful to the earlier version, you're bound to be disappointed.
To drag in poor Holmes again, Benedict Cumberbatch does not portray Sherlock exactly the way he was portrayed in the original books or in any earlier movie or TV versions. Ditto for Robert Downey Jr. and the guy on ELEMENTARY (whose name escapes me at the moment). Doesn't matter.
Different actors (and writers) are going to portray the same characters differently, especially when retelling the stories generations apart. That's not an "assassination" or even inaccurate. It's just a new and different approach to the characters.
To channel Seven of Nine, exactly how the characters of Spock and Uhura were established or developed back in the day is irrelevant. The old Spock and Uhura were indeed just friends and colleagues; the new Spock and Uhura have a closer relationship.
Neither version is wrong.