I'm a big fan of TOS era, original characters stories so naturally I was eager to give this a read.
I must say I didn't expect this at all. Probably because I am not familiar with the Star Trek Battles series and therefore much of this was fairly new to me. Overall this reads almost more like a military story set in space rather than Star Trek tale. Certainly the militaristic influences are undeniable. That's alright though, I do like military stories.
It is obvious that you take great care in being very detailed in your prose, explaining processes and procedures carefully which I thought was a mixed blessings. It was great to help understand everything that's going on but it also really slows the pace.
You also seem to have a tendency to introduce an almost staggering amount of characters with their own histories and backgrounds which gives your universe a very tangible almost epic feel even if it got a little tricky after a while to keep track of all these people.
Not to give the impression that I'm not enjoying this story, I am, and I'm quite eager to read more of it, especially now that the real mission has been announced and the Magnum
and others are ready to ship out into danger.
By the way, the Federation Police Force reminds me a great deal of United Trek's Starfleet Border Service and you may enjoy reading The Lone Redshirt's
terrific Tales of the USS Bluefin
or Bry Sinclair's Silverfin
stories which you can find right here on the TrekBBS.