Re: Nu!Trek and Romulan War
To me it is kinda like Japan bombing Hawaii...
Well, no - it's nothing like Japan bombing Hawaii.
Nero and crew carried out a rogue operation, not a planned, large-scale military attack.
The Romulan Empire played no direct role in the destruction of Vulcan and (whether they learned of it from Starfleet/Federation contact or via intelligence sources of their own) would have had no knowledge thereof until some unspecified time after the fact.
"If the man doesn't believe as we do, we say he is a crank and that settles it. I mean it does nowadays, because we can't burn him."
— Mark Twain, from Following the Equator