I feel for you~ And I hope you feel better soon.
I will share the short version of my story with this kind of thing.
First off, I think I can confidently say I am not
depressed. I laugh quite a bit. Actually I laugh so much it annoys my co-workers.
But, I do go to the doctor for anxiety/nervousness and take medication for it (although, like you, it's near impossible to get off EVER.) I also have a past history of OCD from when I was in high school. I haven't had symptoms of it in 10 years. However, some things happened to me this past year that caused me to become overly anxious and have panic attacks. I was hospitalized twice because of it, they couldn't get my heart rate down. They were just anxiety attacks, but I didn't know it at the time. I had the first one when my fiance fought with my parents and our wedding was called off. My heart was beating out of my chest and I hid inside of our garage. Then I jumped in my car and drove to my office even though it was Saturday. I ended up having to go to the hospital because I was so excited and my heart wouldn't stop pounding.
A few terrible things happened to me this past year. My dad lost his job and I have to give him money all the time. My mom got cancer and died. My engagement to my boyfriend of 8 years broke up because he fought with my parents (before she died). On top of that, I work insane hours and my job is crazy. It's a game company, so long hours are to be expected, but my superiors don't know what they are doing and change everything last minute. So, I am in the office most of the time. I have stayed overnight and slept here. I work an hour away too...it's about 60 miles there and 60 miles back. Costs about 100 dollars a week just in gas. My bosses abuse us too and make us work all hours into the night for no overtime pay.
When I am home on the weekends, I too do nothing but sleep a lot. It's because I don't get proper sleep during the week so on the weekend my body tries to make up for it.
Anyway, no matter what happens, life goes on. It will pass. Try not to waste the time you have being sad. I don't know your age...but I think once you are older you will be disappointed that time was wasted on sadness instead of happiness.
If you can avoid it, try not to take medication for your anxiety/depression. It's not easy to get off of, from my experience. It's not just simple withdrawal. You aren't allowed to quit cold turkey because you can have a seizure because your mind has become so accustomed to receiving the medication. So I am kind of stuck not wanting to take it (I keep asking my doctor to decrease my dose, but he doesn't think I should right now) and needing it because my anxiety is already high while taking it. I'm afraid once I stop, I will be even more anxious.
Anyway, try to be happy.
But take solace in the fact that others do go through this~ And feel better soon! <3