sorry not quoting because it's too hard to do on a tab...
I dislike the timing of Uhura’s outburst because they were in mid mission, approaching Kronos, 3 minutes eta Harrison and their lives were in danger not because Kirk was there. The discussion was ended by an attack by the Klingons, which IMO reinforces that as a bad time.
Sure humans loose it at the wrong moment sometimes, but not every time or we'd be extinct. Uhura is a trained professional and the volcano thing had happened some time earlier - I'd have hoped she'd have picked a better time.
I think the writers put it there because there was nowhere better, given the amount of action but I still dislike it. I don’t dislike Uhura btw, it pulls me out of the story and I think bad things about the writers.
wrt your examples
Spock marooned Kirk immediately after Kirk mutinied and attacked him but when they were deciding what to do next, not mid mission . It was still inappropriate and iirc while he was climbing out of the hole Kirk muttered about suing him.
Spock attacking Kirk was definitely unprofessional and Spock removed himself from command because of it. Also IMO having your love for your mother attacked immediately after you'd seen her, your home planet and 99. 9 % of its people destroyed is more immediately provoking than your boyfriend not being demonstrative when he thought he was going to die some days ago. YMMV.
Kirk's behaviour at the Kobayshi Maru was unprofessional and Spock was trying to get him thrown out of The Academy because of it when news of the attack on Vulcan came. Moreover that happened in a simulation, not on the front line.
Spock told Jim that the purpose of the test is to experience fear. fear in the face of certain death. To accept that fear and maintain........cant remember his full speech.
Kirk's behaviour when taking the test is still no different from uhura's behaviour. I am not completely making excuses for both of them, I just consider it as one of the times when their human weakness gets the better of them.
Uhura's weakness been way too emotional and kirk's weakness been an arrogant douchebag. I add the term douchebag to kirk's character because of his sexual relationship with Galia and her role in him taking the test.
Spock in the first film is the worst of the worst. he threw Kirk out of the ship and dumped him on an icy deadly planet. kirk would have died if not for old Spock.
You argue that Spock lost his planet so that excused his actions of nearly killing kirk, However if that is his case, Spock should have stepped down as captain immediately after his mum died and Vulcan got blown up. Spock should never have carried on as captain. that was very unprofessional for Spock.
May I also add that watching your mum die and the potential death of your boyfriend will always provoke anger in any human. How many days that had gone by after the event took place is irrelevant. In fact the longer the days you wait and take to express your feelings to the person responsible for such actions, the worse your anger is going to get.
Also again you want to talk of Spock been professional.How about him putting Uhura on the Farragut, a ship that he knew she didn't belong on.
When Uhura went to Spock and demanded that she be put on the right ship.Uhura was very professional wasn't she? she didn't even mention her personal relationship with him. All she mentioned was her academic achievements. Trust me you cant get more professional than that.
The bottom line is this, kirk, spock, uhura have all had their unprofessional moments (I would say Spock is the worst) however they have also acted professional when it truly counts.
Remember when kirk asked uhura and I quote 'this isn't go to be a problem, you and Spock working together'' and her answer was absolutely not
Also, I don't see people calling out Bones when he made kirk sick on purpose just to get him on the enterprise. I get that Bones was just been a friend however Bones action was still very unprossional. Like Uhura in the 2nd film, Bones let his personal relationship with kirk get in the way of him going by Starfleet rules. the same rules that Kirk due to his own arrogance and pride broke and got suspended for.
The bottom line is this, You cant nail uhura on a wall and give Kirk and Spock a free pass. If uhura were a man you would perhaps not do that.
Its is so sad, Trek is still fighting the male establishment. if it where Star Wars, fans views will be different. Remember Anakin and padme? both of them chose to enter a wrong relationship that both knew was also very unprofessional and will always get in the way of their careers. I don't see star wars fans including myself blaming only Padme for it.
As for carol there was no need for her to be in her bra and panties, however I don't think she should simply be defined by that.
Women still have a long way to go in TOS Trek Universe. I applaud JJ for giving Uhura more to do. Uhura saving Spock and speaking Klingon was very impressive when you consider the fact that she is a supporting character in a series
ruled by two alpha males. Kirk and Spock.