Re: Highest Ranking Woman?
She didn't know there would be a fight. Logically, she was there to officiate a wedding
Conventional fanfic and even pro novelists have taken the approach that T'Pau is Sarek's mother, Spock's grandmother, and Amanda's mother-in-law (I recommend you read Diane Duane's excellent Spock's World
In current novel continuity, Sarek's mother is named T'Rama. T'Pau is sort of a great-aunt.
There will be order.