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Old July 3 2013, 10:43 AM   #32
REDrake
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Re: What is your least favourite TNG film

Lance wrote: View Post
Not for nothing was somebody able to come up with the Star Trek TNG Movie Plot Generator (http://www.impossiblefunky.com/tngpg.html).
Best link I've seen in quite a while.

My attempt:
Star Trek:Catfight

Written By:redrake

The film opens with some credits that make the audience's eyes hurt.

After the credits, we see cats in space. This confuses the audience to no end.

Next, we cut to the Enterprise. Throughout the movie, the ship interiors are filmed too dark to see things clearly. On the Enterprise, we see the TNG crew. They are bathing cats. During this scene, Picard complains about cat food.

There is an incoming hail, where Picard is instructed that Picard and the TNG crew must bring more cats to menagerie. Thus, beginning their mission.

When they arrive at this mission, Data loses Spot.

This scene abruptly switches to a scene involving catfights on Holodeck! This scene could have been very action-packed, but is very short, unfortunately.

Later on, Picard finally finds out that cats are evil, and thus the plot of the film finally begins.

As the crew work toward resolving this plot, a member of the TNG crew talks to Data, though this person doesn't really help anything.

Then, Catmandu, the film's obvious bad guy, is revealed. But Catmandu is not REALLY that bad, because this villian likes petting.

The crew then learns that Earth is in grave danger! They must come to the rescue!

While they are working on this rescue, Data sings 'Cats are nice.' The audience groans.

A little later, Worf kicks a cat. This ticks off many Worf fans in the audience.

Later on, Troi, who had nothing else to do in the film, pets a cat.

A little later, Riker dresses as a cat. The audience doesn't laugh, however.

Trying to resolve things, Picard and his Away Team beam down to the cat menagerie. Which looks almost cinematic, but not quite.

Crusher and Geordi do absolutely nothing for the duration of the film.

Soon, cats are irradiated. This seems verrrry familiar to the audience, for some reason...

Then, for no reason, someone in the film says 'catshit!' The audience pretends this is cool and edgy.

Finally, the crew discovers that Catmandu has a catoptricon! This makes the situation very dangerous!

In reaction to this, one of the crewmembers says 'cats ahead!' ...even though this makes no sense.

In their attempts to stop Catmandu, humans attack the invading cats. This looks really cool... but doesn't stop Catmandu.

Soon, Riker shoots at evil cats. But this doesn't help anything.

There is a final showdown in a nebula called Cat Tail. Almost defeated, Catmandu, in a fit of rage, attempts to activate his catoptricon! Time is running out, so Picard beams over and attempts to stop him.

Eventually, Picard violently and mercilessly kills Catmandu by throwing him to the good cats. Picard is almost killed in the process, but luckily Worf saves Picard at the last moment.

Later, Picard contemplates on what has happened. As a result of this mission, Picard has resolved his problems with cat food. Picard then gives a speech about cats.

The TNG crew then beams back to the Enterprise, which warps off into space.

The TNG theme plays on the soundtrack.

THE END
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