The only thing I might do differently is to swap out that new blinky computer display you've added and replace it with the display of the antique surgical tools from "Space Seed." (I realize that it probably actually lived where that third bed now is, but I think more people will be saying "Ooo, lets look at all those surgical inststruments" more than they will be saying "Ooooo, let's look at yet another blinky computer display."
Frankly, I never understood the practical purpose of the antique surgical tools in "Space Seed". Reverse psychology? ("Hey, if you think you got pain, imagine the pain those tools would have inflicted on you a couple of centuries ago!"), McCoy's subtle sadism to scare this patients with ancient knifes (or tridents)?
For one, I think it's a very good thing
he relocated his display of horrors onto the wall of the waiting booth in his office (apparently someone told him it's a better place
Second, this is the diagnostic display which shows additional biometric functions the medical monitor does not. McCoy took readings from this kind of panel in "The Corbomite Maneuver" and "Charlie X". You may argue that it only gets used when someone is doing "push-ups" on the exercise table (not there in the bedroom), but IMHO it's a better choice than those tools of horror. Alternately a nice Mike Minor painting with beautiful alien landscapes or a viewscreen (so you don't miss theatre performances aboard the ship and stuff like that) would seem to be suitable candidates.
Clever idea to put the Season One intercom speaker onto the doorframe. We never saw this doorframe part in Season Three.
Of course, I have to wonder
where this yellow back door is supposed to led us. If I'm not mistaken you illustrated the area in a same or similar fashion in your older TOS rendering approach.