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Old June 18 2013, 04:16 AM   #31
thestrangequark
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Re: Have You Ever Changed Your Mind...

teacake wrote: View Post
jayceee wrote: View Post
teacake wrote: View Post
What would be an example of someone being misleading or wrong that you wouldn't confront? I'm missing something here because there are certainly ways to tell someone they are incorrect without making it about confronting them.
Every now and then, I have friends who attempt to talk me into investing in a new business, some real estate, other investments, etc ...

When I was younger, I would have wasted their time by challenging their business plan, estimated numbers, etc ... by firing off repeated volleys of hard questions. In the past, I generally saw it as the equivalent of an intellectual sparring match or "bloodsport". (In the end after all the sparring, I would still say no to their requests).

Today, I will just let them know right away that I am not interested at all. I generally now stop myself from entering a "Sheldon Cooper" state of mind, and cut to the chase immediately.
I still troll them if it's Amway. But otherwise, I get what you're saying. Better things to do with time.
On the flip side, have you ever considered the problem may not be with them, but with your approach? People don't like being wrong, even when they are wrong, and they don't generally like confrontation, especially when what you're asking them to confront is reality. It's a quirk of psychology that attacking someone's firmly held beliefs or ideas, even with a solid argument, good evidence, and the absolute truth on your side, will only serve to reinforce their wrong beliefs. If you want to convince someone, you need to feed the evidence and the arguments to them subtly. You need to get them curious, and get them thinking, and allow them to come to the conclusion themselves so they won't have to suffer defeat. It's hard, but I managed it once! And she was over thirty.
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