If one took up your suggestion as a benchmark, nobody would discuss anything about anything.
You obviously haven't noticed the dozens of other threads about this movie. There becomes a time when someone runs a subject completely into the ground to the point that people begin to push back, not because they hate women or think they should be subservient but because the discussion serves no real purpose without people being willing to back up what they say.
If I thought Star Trek Into Darkness
showed women in a poor way, I wouldn't buy tickets to it. I wouldn't buy tickets for my wife (who is a pretty staunch feminist, laughs at this discussion and the Alice Eve underwear controversy), my mother-in-law and tell my daughter she should go see it.
There are totally times one should be willing to take a stand and refuse to support something because it offends them. This simply isn't one of those times.