You're not talking about my viewing habits any more are you?
Have you ever seen Twitch City
It's a sitcom about a bloke hopelessly addicted to television and getting as much of it on video tape as possible for posterity. The TV Guide is a bible to be feared and glorified, whereafter he has to be stationed and mounted, ready and perched waiting for each and every airing of all his loyally followed programming, and fuck real people.
I haven't been that person since before the millennium.