Just saw it a few days ago. I was shocked.
I had my qualms with Abram's 2009 Trek, but overall I enjoyed the experience of watching it. STID however, was dull, cliche, and incredibly stupid.
At some point, the movie stops telling a story, and just becomes a mess of various melodrama laden scenes filled with Star Trek references, idiotic plot holes, rehashed sequences and characters that have to constantly explain themselves in order to advance the narrative.
It felt very rushed and slapped together.
Paramount has been trying to force Trek into an action series for the past 23 years. Its sorta worked twice; this wasn't one of them.
Why is it that some people seem to see all the flaws the way you do, and other people just lather on this unconditional praise "Loved it!!! Saw it for the 10th time and loved it even more!!!"?
I understand that taste differs, but the polar opposites that I see here are really baffling. I don't expect people to universally hate the movie, but to at least acknowledge that it has flaws. Your specific issues are not at all unique to your experience. They are what a lot of people, professional critics and average moviegoers alike, have been saying.