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Old June 9 2013, 08:30 PM   #49
Angry Fanboy
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Angry Fanboy

HaventGotALife wrote: View Post

Well, I couldn't get the rest of the story out. I wanted to put Sisko in danger of losing Jake and dealing with the repercussions from that. The story was that Jake was taken hostage by one of the colonists on Solosos III, since it's stated that no evacuation had taken place before Sisko made the planet uninhabitable for humans (For the Uniform). Sisko is accountable for killing the man's wife by launching the torpedoes at the planet. Consequences for that decision. To be honest, I want consequences for him to just go back to being hero the next week. The story is that the man had farmed the land for 50 years as a part of a colony separate from the Maquis and wasn't even involved in the politics. This story takes place during the 5th season of DS9 (before Blaze of Glory). He sees his wife every night when he sleeps and it drives him insane with anger.

This is supposed to mirror Ben's struggle with Jennifer's death as well. I had some flashbacks planned to see when Jake was born and and when Ben was assigned to the Saratoga and asks Jennifer to come along. This would've been the tug-at-your-heartstrings over the fact that Ben feels, in losing Jake, he has lost all of what's left of Jennifer. That his decisions in the uniform--to take the posting on the Saratoga, launching the torpedoes at Solosos III--had taken what was left of his family. He confesses, and this is the razor's edge, that he knew he could and wanted to kill this man for taking Jake, something he could never do the borg, but there's some transference there. He could've, but Jake stops him, as Ben had successfully rescued him. Instead he takes him into custody as the man is a Federation citizen.

But my eyes outpaced my stomach on this story. I couldn't get it right.
I wonder if you couldn't rework your story idea to fit with this month's challenge? Perhaps work some sort of "blaze of glory" style ending where a character must sacrifice themselves?
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