Because I watched a comedic movie about how ordinary people coped with planet Earth post rapture, disjointly annoyed that they had to deal with meteors, locusts, blood rain, wraiths and the Antichrist nuking everyone, you think that I deserve to go to Hell?
If you don't think God is a dick, than talk to some Egyptians and see if they still don't hold a grudge from being plagued by God and Moses.
Any Egyptians in the House?
Being plagued is not nice.
God is a bully, and it's technically child abuse.