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Old June 2 2013, 01:05 AM   #87
SeerSGB
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Re: STAR TREK: a series treatment starring APRIL and COLT

BillJ wrote: View Post
zekkie wrote: View Post

this has been a mob. entirely adversarial, and there is no good reason as to why...
This was my first post...

BillJ wrote:
I stopped at COMEDY as well.

You can have comedy in Star Trek, but I don't think you can have Star Trek as a comedy.
There's nothing adversarial in it. Just my personal opinion on Star Trek as a comedy.



Nothing adversarial here. Just what I've learned about the business over the years by folks who have worked in it and books I've read.



Took time to read it. Plus chime in that CBS usually develops such projects in house.



Nothing adversarial here. Just conversing with another poster on why it might not be wise to make a project like this public.

BillJ wrote:
If I scribbled an idea on the back of a napkin and registered it with the WGA, I'd have about as much of a chance of getting on air as this idea does.

Do you know how many people come through here with the same grand plan of producing a Star Trek series for CBS? Do you know how many have actually been successful?
Quoting the odds of this getting made and acknowledging that we've seen these grand plans before from other posters.

BillJ wrote:
Because if I don't care about the concept, I'm not going to care about the characters or stories. I'm really not trying to be mean here, but you really need to go back to the drawing board.
This is just constructive criticism on my part.

There is just nothing that interests me in your proposal. First it's a workplace comedy about April and Colt (who seemed pretty young in The Cage so I'm not sure how that's suppose to work), then it's like a half-dozen other series, then it's a series about the evolution of Kirk and Spock. You're literally all over the place.

You need a "hook" that can sell the series and I simply don't see that "hook" in anything you've presented.
What I've always been told (YMMV) is that if you can't sell your pitch in two sentences, you're pretty well fucked. You've got to have the ideal of what it is in your head, and sell them on that; not what it will be but what the core of the ideal is.

This is Asylum's Pitch Guidelines: It should be short and to the point -- only a couple of paragraphs of a few sentences each.

The OP in the thread, to long. And their's is a pretty common "golden rule".
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