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Old June 2 2013, 01:01 AM   #85
BillJ
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Re: STAR TREK: a series treatment starring APRIL and COLT

zekkie wrote: View Post

this has been a mob. entirely adversarial, and there is no good reason as to why...
This was my first post...

BillJ wrote:
I stopped at COMEDY as well.

You can have comedy in Star Trek, but I don't think you can have Star Trek as a comedy.
There's nothing adversarial in it. Just my personal opinion on Star Trek as a comedy.

BillJ wrote:
I'll be honest, by posting it here you've pretty much guaranteed that CBS will reject it.

And I'm sorry, I just don't see Star Trek as a work place comedy.
Nothing adversarial here. Just what I've learned about the business over the years by folks who have worked in it and books I've read.

BillJ wrote:
In fairness, I took a few minutes and read it.

Umm...

It's not very good. It has way too many callbacks to other series and I found none of what was proposed particularly funny.

And you misspelled 'Constitution'.

EDIT: Plus, projects like Star Trek are usually developed 'in-house' by the company that owns the rights.
Took time to read it. Plus chime in that CBS usually develops such projects in house.

BillJ wrote:
Because you've published it for everyone to see and to copy and then claim CBS stole their ideas.

Same reason authors don't like for folks to mention story ideas in the Trek Literature forum.

Plus, I would think CBS would like to keep the contents of any new Trek series from the public until they are ready to announce it.
Nothing adversarial here. Just conversing with another poster on why it might not be wise to make a project like this public.

BillJ wrote:
If I scribbled an idea on the back of a napkin and registered it with the WGA, I'd have about as much of a chance of getting on air as this idea does.

Do you know how many people come through here with the same grand plan of producing a Star Trek series for CBS? Do you know how many have actually been successful?
Quoting the odds of this getting made and acknowledging that we've seen these grand plans before from other posters.

BillJ wrote:
Because if I don't care about the concept, I'm not going to care about the characters or stories. I'm really not trying to be mean here, but you really need to go back to the drawing board.
This is just constructive criticism on my part.

There is just nothing that interests me in your proposal. First it's a workplace comedy about April and Colt (who seemed pretty young in The Cage so I'm not sure how that's suppose to work), then it's like a half-dozen other series, then it's a series about the evolution of Kirk and Spock. You're literally all over the place.

You need a "hook" that can sell the series and I simply don't see that "hook" in anything you've presented.
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