Just FYI to any with interest: anyone can register a script with the WGA (all you need is an internet connection and the $25 registration fee), even non-members. All that means is that you have proof that you created it in the highly unlikely event someone were to steal it, unless you a Guild Member, in which case you can ask them to go to bat for you.
I skimmed the initial post, and I must say I hope this isn't an actual pitch document, because if so, it's not compelling. It's much too concerned with minutia that no TV exec is going to care about instead of leading with, "this is the show, these are the characters, there are the types of stories we'll be telling and here's why it'll be a success."
i appreciate criticism, but not veiled attempts at trying to paint me as a hack who has $25.
WGA registration is a necessary first step to have your document viewed by ANYONE. non-members can register and they should, after they make a writing attempt. this is the step that 99% of fandom misses, therefore...
i encourage everyone to take the time to write and register something; TRY. it's a noble effort to make an attempt at something you like.
and finally, no, this is not a cover letter, logline, pitch, script or synopsis. this is a treatment, which is a broader overview of the project and a document which accompanies those things.
sorry it's not compelling to you, but i find your criticism... well... not compelling. i think the allegory and characters will sit well with modern audiences. especially when the series that it morphs into is a raking a quarter million box office worldwide.