Sorry I haven't been around these past two weeks. I was house sitting for some friends, and their Internet access was abysmal. I couldn't even use Netflix. If they hadn't had all five seasons of Stargate Atlantis
on DVD, I probably would have lost my mind. On the plus side, I've learned how to swear in Czech.
. Longest forty-three minutes of my life. Seriously, my head hurts as a result of watching this episode.
Now before Teacake bites my head off, let me start by saying I like
the Ferengi. I really do. However, I realize I'm in the minority. They're not everyone's cup of snail juice. So I'm surprised that of all the alien species of Star Trek the writers could have used for this episode, they went with one of the least
popular among the fans. And then they stuck them in an unbelievably dull and predictable episode riddled with cliches. Too many cliches to count, really: Archer leading the Ferengi on about a fake vault, manipulating the dopey, submissive Ferengi (played by Jeffrey Combs) into turning on his domineering cousin (Ethan Phillips), T'Pol using her feminine wiles to subdue said submissive Ferengi, Archer and Trip pretending to be at odds with each other to confuse the Ferengi... I could go on. And these Ferengi weren't even entertaining. They were just flat, stale, uninteresting caricatures. Combs was, as usual, the only reason they weren't unbearable. Still, he was wasted in this role.
Here's one thing I can't get over: Archer tells the Ferengi that he's going to inform Starfleet and the Vulcan High Command about them... but he NEVER bothers to ask them who they are? Even when he has them tied up? I can imagine how pleased Admiral Forrest will be when he gets that report. "My ship was boarded by some big-eared aliens, my people were gassed, my inventory was almost stolen, and my female crew members were nearly taken to be sold into slavery, but I kind of forgot to ask what species they were. My bad."
Things I liked: I thought it was vaguely amusing when Archer and Trip were arguing about how many gold bars Trip's "wife" Hoshi was worth. It would've been funnier if they'd brought it up later in front
of Hoshi, leaving Trip to explain why they mentioned her in the first place. Another opportunity missed. Also, Porthos is super cute. And I'm not gonna lie; I didn't mind that Trip was in his blue skivvies for half the episode. Shut up. I'm weak.
Still, I'm glad I watched this episode. That means I never have to watch it again.