Thread: Yorktown
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Old May 29 2013, 11:32 AM   #8
Sandoval
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Re: Yorktown

Cobalt Frost wrote: View Post
Nice!
Can't beat a comprehensive review can you?

Anyway Fanboy this opening scene is good and holds my attention well, although I would caution against using too much exposition. You have a tendency towards large swathes of description of past events, a little piece of dialogue then more paragraphs of describing the setting.

The references to the whole dropping of the atomic bomb on Hiroshima are obvious and clearly meant to be so, as is the allegory of a US warship anchoring in Tokyo Bay to sign the Japanese surrender and submarines becoming cloaked ships.

Overall it works well transposed into this "proto-Star Trek" setting.

I like the old-fasioned-sounding names of the characters, the references so "space ships" instead of starships and the others bits and pieces that contribute to the sense that this was written in the early sixties.

To quote someone else, it was "nice".
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