Captain's log, Stardate 45345.6. My diplomatic skills were put to the test today when Lwaxana Troi went on PlentyOfTribbles, claimed she was a twenty-something, and got matched with young Mr. Crusher, who listed himself as a twenty-something as well.
Picard: "I don't care that you're eight feet tall and that you're a guest on this ship. I'm the Captain and nobody touches my Earl Grey!"
K'Ehleyr: "I suggest that if you want to move up in Starfleet, you skip the Picard and Riker poses, and that you go straight to this Kirk pose."