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Old May 16 2013, 11:37 PM   #2396
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I said I'd leave, but I couldn't resist. Here's a list I compiled:

20 things wrong with Star Trek Into Darkness:

1. Khan is a MacGuffin... you could literally leave him as John Harrison, remove the people from cryotubes and it would have been an infinitely more sensical movie

2. Why doesn't anyone know who Khan is? He is literally the historical equivalent of Adolf Hitler, Genghis Khan, Josef Stalin, etc... probably WORSE

3. What? You have a problem Spock? Put in a collect call to Old Spock and he'll just give you some exposition bordering on the fourth wall

4. Oh yeah, we managed to cure death... I'm surprised they weren't throwing Khan a frikin parade at the end!

5. Oh yeah... we can also beam anywhere in the galaxy now apparently... why do we need ships anymore?

6. I can accept Kirk being made Captain of the most advanced ship in the fleet straight out of college, but you're telling me that as punishment he's threatened by Pike to be sent BACK to college??

7. Magic Death-Curing Blood: You need it to save Kirk... why don't you get it from ANY OF THE 72 OTHER POPSICLES YOU HAVE ON YOUR SHIP??

8. Khan Noonien Singh is Sikh... I haven't met a lot of white english Sikh men born in 1970. A problem especially considering (although yes I know Montalban is a Spaniard), the timeline hadn't yet branched when Khan was born and Khan should probably at least look SIMILAR to the one from TWOK

9. People creamed all over this movie for the same reasons they flung steaming piles of at Star Trek Nemesis

10. Spock is clearly the better officer... why is Kirk getting command of the Enterprise? Not once, but TWICE!? Because he goes with his "gut..." I heard someone essentially call him the G.W. Bush of the Abramsverse... seems about accurate.

11. DS9 made a point about section 31 being purposefully decentralized to avoid events like the very bombing that took them out in this movie...

12. You're ordered to abandon ship and the crew refuses to comply... Their staying behind served no useful function in restoring power to the ship.

13. It's spelled Qo'Nos!!!

14. Praxis? If it has exploded already, should the Klingons not be on their knees at this stage?

15. The back half of the movie, you are asked to sympathize with Khan as he just wants to save his family... but nope, the ending just keeps him a maniacal looney. They should have just kept him as a gentlemanly nutter from the beginning to be more true to the character

16. Kirk's death... ultimately meaningless. I expect this kind of shit from Joss Whedon!

17. Carol Marcus serves no function at all to the story, except that we get to see her in her skivvies... ok, so that has an upside

18. Uhura's moment to shine with her skills, literally the only moment in the movie that suggested that maybe intellect would win over brawn, is shat on by a gunfight

19. Literally all of the banter between the big 3 was forced. It was arguing for arguing's sake. Bones was reduced from trusted advisor to smartass... for shame

20. Why did the Vengeance officer wait 6 minutes to shoot Scotty? All the while listening to Kirk's specific instructions on boarding the ship over the comm? Speaking of which, Kirk's body would have been pulverized into chunky salsa with that landing
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