Cool, and good luck.
One possible science niggle you may want to work out, which for all I know you may already have done: How is a Saturn-size Class M planet possible? To be Class M/Earthlike, i.e. a rocky world like ours, its density will obviously be much, much greater than that of a gas giant, so at the same diameter of Saturn its mass and gravity will be tremendously greater than Saturn's already humungous gravity (and non-humungous mass).
Which might make any sort of human-usable biosphere untenable, assuming a solid world that large can form in the first place. Unless of course this is some strange artificial planet created by superadvanced alien science, which would fit right into Trek. The gravity of such a thing should still make it difficult to approach or maintain a close orbit safely, though.
ETA: Your short script sample places an area near the Neutral Zone "millions of light years away." You'll probably want to change that, as the entire Milky Way Galaxy is only maybe 120,000 ly across, and the Klingons (and by extension, the Neutral Zone between them and Earth) are canonically in a relatively nearby portion of it, partially in the same quadrant.