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Old May 14 2013, 01:47 AM   #96
Hober Mallow
Commodore
 
Location: The planet Terminus, site of the Encyclopedia Foundation on the periphery of the galaxy
Re: The recycled footage of BOP exploding in Generations

trevanian wrote: View Post
If you haven't done so, you should find the unpublished book Piller did about the script (d)evolution on INSURRECTION. There was a core good idea or two, but the development process really pissed all over things (Stewart and Berman seem to be deserving of the most blame IMO) ...
Many of Stewart's objections and criticisms seemed perfectly reasonable:
I think there is real danger in the mindset that “there are certain things that our audience come to expect...” We have
seen Worf defend his honor so many times and exactly in the way your story plays out. Worf’s ‘honor’ is in his every thought
and gesture. He is anyway by now too big a man to rise to a jerk like Joss. But to see Worf telling his Captain he is wrong and threatening to tear him apart, there is his honor.

I have reread the story several times since your last communication and - with some exceptions - my feelings
remain unchanged. The story seems bogged down in details, dialogue and back story. For me it plods along until Act 3 (on
page 20 of your 25 page story) when the Guerilla training begins. Before, the ‘events’ have been a hand to hand fight, two ship conflicts and the delusions sequence. The first three are very familiar territory but the latter I have come to like more and more.
It is dangerous, I believe, these days to rely on tech stuff for excitement but I can see how there could be a lot of fun and
danger in this sequence but it all goes very flat again after that.

I just cannot get excited about the sarium krellide story line. It is, again, a series-style concept that is too technical and
remote to be the basis of our story. Isn’t is going to be hard for our audience to get involved with or care about some
medically significant rock. It’s not exciting. Nor, I am sorry to say, (though this is a science fiction adventure movie) is the
moral/political story line of uprooting a people and transplanting them. It’s not exciting. Yes, all that worked in the series but not, I think, here.

My concerns about Data remain. Am I mistaken to believe that we do not see Data as fully himself until the middle of Act
3? Given that he is our most ‘popular’ character can we afford to lose his Data-ness for so long? I am also uneasy about
another ‘Data malfunctioning’ story. By surprises I meant the truly unexpected and unpredictable. It would seem that Picard has no choice but to kill Data and Picard taking off his uniforms seems, at the moment, to be inappropriate rather than surprising
http://theologica.verydewarsontheroc...nts/FadeIn.pdf
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Last edited by Hober Mallow; May 14 2013 at 02:04 AM.
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