Re: If you found yourself aboard the Refitprise during TMP...
Romulans are an off-shoot of the Vulcans, so technically Nero destroyed their ancestral homeworld, whilst ignoring the one he originally lost (seriously, if he knows what star will cause the destruction of Romulus, why not use the red matter on it and save it in the future, rather than go on a quest for revenge which was ultimately useless?).
Maybe he just didn't want to pollute the timeline to risk damaging Romulus.
OR once Vulcan and Earth were out of the way he would then use the red matter to repair the star - or knowing Nero would try and use it to force a coup and take over the planet.
"I'd rather be judged by twelve than carried by six."