That said, I am reflecting on my experience as a 30 year old man, not an eight year old boy...
Again, there's the problem. We have an eight year old boy acting like a 30 year old adult. I remember when I was eight years old and whenever things got bad, I always went to my mother for help and support. I can't say what my exact reaction would have been if my mother had died when I was still eight, but I guarantee you that my first question would not have been "How, sir?" followed by "I understand."
The only way this depiction could have worked is if they made Jeremy a Vulcan child. It certainly would have made for an interesting storyline involving the exploration and understanding of what makes us different. Imagine Picard getting all worked up over the thought of having to tell a child that their only parent died and realizing that the Vulcan child's acceptance of her death is not what he had expected. Is being openly accepting of death to the point you don't grieve over the loss of a loved one a good thing, or a bad thing? Does it mean that there was no real relationship between the mother and child, or is there something buried deep inside that we don't fully understand? You know, let's explore something that's unique to Star Trek that hasn't been done in Star Trek before!