I think the blame for the fanwanky spoliers lies squarely with the scriptwriters. I realize Abrams could have said 'Hang on a minute, I'm not doing this' but I think he concentrated on directing and trusted his friends (Orci/Kurtzman/Lindelof) judgement. It is Abrams raw talent that prevented ST09 being shit (and actually turned out very good/enjoyable!) and I presume the same will apply again with STID so for that reason I can't wait to see it warts and all.
If someone had spoiled ST09 in a similar way to what we have seen here the backlash would have been almost as 'bad' as we are seeing now. Crazed Romulan miner from the future goes back in time through a black hole created by 24th century Spock as part of his efforts to thwart a galactic supernova with red matter and the whole transwarp beaming malarky... yet it was a fantastic movie inspite of all that crap K&O came up with.
If the same scriptwriters are in for the next movie but a new director comes in... :/
Re: Doctor Who - I too thought fans of 63-89 Doctor Who hated the 05- one !