And now, a new contest!
Riker: Acknowledged, sir. Ensign Ro, you'll join me, Data and Worf on the hostile planet.
Ro: Can I resign now, sir?
Crusher: It would appear Dr Soong programmed her in multiple techniques.
LaForge: I should've gone into robotics.
Worf: Intruder alert. Subject looks like the captain in a cheap tupee!
Picard: I'm not amused, Mr Worf. Now change this burnt out light bulb in the turbolift.
Second Officer's Log: Chief O'brien has been tutoring me in a genre of human sexuality called bondage. My first attempt on Counselor Troi has thusfar met mixed results, but the Chief assures me that the lasses enjoy playing hard to get.
Picard: What's up Butthead?
Ktarian: Picard, you dumbass! Put a crappy blond toupee on you and you'd make a convincing Beavis!