^The editing process may have been as rushed as the writing process.
This almost certainly has to be the case.
I have two unsubstantiated theories:
First, that it was kind of pushed through without the editor really touching it, trusting the veteran Star Trek writer. The remarks are so obvious it makes it difficult to read the book, I find it difficult to understand how an experienced editor could read through it and approve it without lining out those items.
Second, the editor did go through and mark those things off but somehow an earlier draft accidentally get sent over instead of the corrected one. This kind of thing has been known to happen, even in Star Trek books (though I can't remember which ones, maybe Killing Time?) so it seems plausible as well.
Perhaps I shouldn't be speculating, but the whole thing just seems so odd to me that I'm really curious how this happened.
I had that same feeling reading her last few books, the Challenger ones. I think it was Chainmail that in particular gave me that feeling? (Its the one that ended in the cliffhanger.)
I felt like I was reading a rough draft that had never been touched by an editor. Or, perhaps it was edited but only for spelling and grammar but not content.
The whole thing was filled with the sort of tortured mixed metaphors Carey is famous for but much, much worse. I actually considered starting a quote thread like this one so we could all have a good laugh, but I never got around to it.
I pretty much decided at that point I was going to read the next Challenger book to see how the cliffhanger resolved itself, and then I was never going to read a Diane Carey novel again. Even though I'm a big fan of her early TOS work.
Of course, she hasn't written any more so that was not a problem.
I remember at the time, the word on this board about why she left was that she was off "pursuing her own projects" but I thought it was really strange that she would leave a cliffhanger unresolved. I always wondered if something happened and she was asked not to return.
This thread explains a lot!