They can't make a series just to appeal to fans like you. They have to appeal to the general public to make money. TV does not pay for itself.
As for the "look and feel things" not matching up with TOS: it was set a CENTURY before TOS. Things go in and out of style. Aesthetics changes. There were probably several wildly different uniforms in use between Enterprise and TOS. The same goes for ship design, architecture, fashion, you name it.
Canon is about continuity of the subject
, not continuity in the ways the subject is depicted
. It certainly has nothing to do with nitpicky things like the way the Federation emblem is depicted. It's about the story, not how the story looks or sounds.