"Before you can save the universe, we need you to answer some security questions to establish your identity. Please state your name and press the hash key."
Doctor whispers something.
"Your name is Betty Wetherspoon. If this is correct, press one, if not press, two"
Doctor: "No it isn't you stupid machine!!!!"
"You have pressed one."
Doctor: "No I didn't!!!!"
"I'm sorry, that service is not available at this time."