My contribution to this thread is a result of my uncle being back in the hospital. He had surgery back in 2000 for a back problem he'd had since his high school football days. The anesthesiologist fucked up and my uncle has been a paraplegic ever since. My cousin, born in '95 barely remembers him not being in a wheelchair. He's paralyzed, but since his spine is damaged but not broken, he still can feel...mostly pain. Lots of spasm and cramps. The immobility mixed with his pain meds has added a whole slew of issues on top of just being unable to move anything below his chest. He's suffering from congestive heart failure and has gone to the hospital for it several time and was once actually technically dead on the operating table until they were able to bring him back.
My aunt, who is probably the strongest person I know, is doing her best as his sole caretaker but we can see her beginning to crack, and we can't blame her. Luckily my mom is nearby and has seen the cracks forming and is now increasing her presence. My uncle is back in the hospital now though...after my aunt called 911 when he started being incredibly incoherent and at times unresponsive. It wasn't as bad as the times she's been unable to wake him in the morning but still scary. It ws later found out that he was over-medicated...mostly because he was popping an extra pill of oxy from a secret stash. The only bright point is that it gives her at least a couple night of full rest, as she gets up every morning around 2am to turn him over to avoid bed sores.
Anyway, I just had to get that out. I talk to my wife about it but sometimes typing this stuff out helps too.