I think TMP and STXI are both legitimate extrapolations from TOS. TMP taps in to the cerebral, STXI into the action-adventure.
FWIW, TMP bored the hell out of me when I was the age Abrams was in '79. I appreciate it now for what it is. And Spock stranding Kirk makes little sense. But so does Spock sneaking off out an airlock to perform a potentially fatal mind meld with V'Ger (not to mention one that could have compromised the Enterprise and Earth even further if V'Ger assimilated Spock's knowledge). In both instances, he was emotionally compromised. The former case far more so than the latter.